we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
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Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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