He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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