I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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