So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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