Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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