At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
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Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
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Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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