Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Life is so much better after having sex.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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