Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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