I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My penis needs a shock collar
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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