Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize