you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize