Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
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There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
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nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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