fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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