Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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