I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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