Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize