We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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