i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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