he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize