It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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