you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
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All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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