i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he puts the penis in happiness.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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