It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize