he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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