im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
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i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
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I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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