let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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