his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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