It's Friday. Sex?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
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Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
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Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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