No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize