Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
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Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
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Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
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