Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
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My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
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wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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