he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize