My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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