is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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