i permit you to call me
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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