Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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