Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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