I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
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Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
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I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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