I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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