Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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