just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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