Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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