WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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