turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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