i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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