I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize