I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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