went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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