were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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