YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize